when tears rolled down your face that monday afternoon,i felt completely helpless and doubted my decision of breaking my thoughts to you.all i was trying to put across was i didnt want to be stuck in that situation again,an elastic band will still snap somehow.i tried and tried to kept all those thoughts thrown to me at the back of my head for days,perhaps WEEKS,but i found myself in a circular reasoning state.i couldnt help but thought of how bad things MIGHT turn out to be should all these continue,but i guess it wouldnt.

i was lost when mom called.i couldnt help but stare blankly in open space and it really took a longlong while for that piece of news to sink in.tears did well up on my journey home but i know we cant quite let emotions get the better of us.i thought,we cannot let situations manipulate our actions and ought to manipulate such situations with the way we act.at least,for me.

.dear uncle,you'll be dearly missed.

and so it was such an emotional turmoil over all these days.who would have realised such a news could be broken to you.i was in an absolute state of denial when you broke it to me.it felt so surreal.everything got so tangled up in my mind,i couldnt say much in the cab to school.i am really apologetic when i missed your call that night because of my slumber from the long sleepless nights.just when you needed someone to be there and just someone to hear you out.yet,the someone you wished for could not be reached.never in my life have i felt so useless,shameful and totally helpless.i was hoping for you to just tell me off and blame me for everything.as tears flowed while you're in my embrace,words just cant quite flow from my usual eloquence.

this wasnt like any any other obstacles we have faced through our time.but i just want you to know that through everything,there will always be me beside you.so you've got to brace up and stay strong.i promise that you'll never be alone.and you know that.all because you are my one and only cant-do-without.girl,i am all about loving you :)