im jaded.been masking up all those frustration and fear in me and trying not to let anyone see the pain thats eating me away deep inside.these few days had been a real chore trying to be laid back about all thats happening around me.i dont know how i should be describing what im feeling right now.theres this listlessness in me and im just trying to get rid of all thats in me.but the fact is im feeling worse day by day.

dear you,just what the hell is wrong with you?i know it's easy to just turn away and not care bout anything at all.and if thats what things gonna be,i have nothing to say at all,so thankyou for everything.

dear you,as much as i dont want to let you down,i dont want to let myself down too.its been hard especially with so much going on and im so sorry for all the procastination and indecisiveness.time management may be whats on your mind,but im bad at it.as much as i wish to play alongside familiar names,i cant seem to manage everything well.

dear you,thankyou for the after lesson talking today.i think i let you down utterly when words like,"you didnt study at all is it" hit me.im so sorry.

dear you,thanks for alleviating the pain because it seems like you're the only one that know so much and all thats going on.

so yup.i guess that should be all for now.and i swear if there ever is a mugging for the dummies book on sale,i will snap it up and read it.

combined schs season ended a couple of days back and it was a fantastic experience and journey.anyhow,tomorrow shall be the last time i am wearing those boots.after that i shall just try to start studying.6 weeks.i doubt i can do it.

..thats all for now.till then..