..but i keep climbing and hoping things would change;and the sky turns grey and the water from the rain washed progress away..

can't wait to lay my hands on usher's brilliancy (:

my fingers scrolled in a circulatory motion as my sleepy eyes struggled to follow through those familiar titles in my list of music videos.

gravity by embrace

unlike any other chilly Sunday evenings where i would just retire under the covers,making attempts to mimic Danny McNamara's acute Briton accent;i just lay still and stared blankly at my ceiling.

i have got so much thinking in my head now and i must say it's not easy to express them all in literal sense.how i wished someone could just be around to hear me out.someone,somebody.could it be you,you or even you?

perhaps, you,who'd be celebrating your twentieth while greeting your new school semester later today,would be nice.after all,you're the one who stood by the man with the guitar and the mike stand (:

stuck in reverse.

we were inches miles apart

uber unfit

and so,after tomorrow's parade,members of NS03/08 would no longer be addressed by regular officers as trainees.special constables,they'd be calling us.some would also attain their corporal ranks on the very day tomorrow.but sadly,it'd also mark the end of our basic training,after tomorrow,we'd be parting ways,despatched to the various divisions and attached to the different vocations within.

fortunately,there are still two more tours left in my deployment schedule!

it'd be a trip back to home team academy for me on 20th May.a new job scope.but then again whats new.somehow i wished,and it's all because i'm in this deployment batch,that i'd put in more considerations into the selecting my preferred postings and not be led blindly.

i dont detest my current posting.in fact to me,it's an enriching and satisfying job.but it's just those days when youre in a state of dilemma,when your thinking is swayed by others' comments and truth to be spoken,giving it a shot out in division to be a crime fighter and law enforcer would be such an eye opening experience filled with countless rewards.

it's pointless,nonetheless,to speculate about the possibilities and all those "i-should-haves"
hellos! to training command!you'd be my home for the rest of my national service life.

a trip back to home team academy last evening brought back awfully sweet memories with my squad mates.

those mundane routines,madrushes on disgustingly packed days,drill sessions,dry classes,disgusting physicals and dealings with unreasonable officers,countless marching.ironically,i missed them.everything.

on a lighter note,deployment duties with division regulars have been real fun and daily routines are such eye openers!things you will never get to see in home team,things you'll never experience as an ordinary member of public.

then again,that depressing truth hurts.

it was a bittersweet affair when the four of us returned back to barrack and packed our belongings into that huge police bag kitting while the rest headed to mess for lunch.

it's frustrating when we're notified at the very last minute.everything is in such a mess and we have no idea whether or not we would be involved in the passing out parade together with the others from our squad.it's depressing when we made that premature exit,way before the rest made theirs from home team academy.

just like how coy commander made it clear to us before we left,"goodluck and be careful.theres no more theory in the outside world.take necessary precautions."

and so,lejian and i made our way to foxtrot with those heavy kits.the briefing made us realised the "no-nonsense" attitude adopted in dealing with real ops by the senior officers.they packed us with a truckload of information and destination maps.the most immediate thing that i could picture while engaging in the briefing was that still image from band of brothers.

tuesday started off as an off day for my team,fortunately.

and today is the day that i'm down for an admissions interview with NBS.as usual,i hailed a cab and as the cab whizzed along PIE,home team academy appeared on my right.i checked my watch for the time and wondered where my squad might be.

my watch read 0900h.they were probably out in unity square under the hot sun with FI Ian conducting the POP drill rehearsal.